A Good Marriage—Not a Degree, a High-Paying Job, or a Perfect SAT Score—Is the Biggest Predictor of Adult Happiness

A teen's perspective.

Parents all over the world want the same thing for their children: happiness. Ask any parent, and they’ll tell you their biggest hope is for their kids to live joyful and fulfilled lives.

But here’s the paradox: the very strategies parents obsess over—the perfect SAT score, an elite college, or a lucrative career aren’t the things that lead to true happiness.

The biggest predictor of happiness, as decades of research has shown, isn’t academic success, professional accolades, or even wealth. It’s the quality of your relationships. Specifically, a good marriage.

This idea isn’t new. It’s been hiding in plain sight for decades. The famed Harvard Study of Adult Development, which followed participants for more than 80 years, found that the quality of your relationships is the single biggest determinant of long-term happiness and health.

Good relationships don’t just make life more enjoyable—they protect your body and brain. People in strong marriages, for example, live longer, have lower rates of depression, and report being happier than their single peers.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: while parents will move heaven and earth to prepare their kids for academic and career success, they pay almost no attention to teaching them how to build healthy relationships.

Parents spend thousands of dollars on SAT tutors, summer camps, and extracurriculars to give their kids a competitive edge; they sign them up for piano lessons and coding bootcamps, hoping it’ll lead to a shiny résumé.

But how many parents talk to their kids about the skills that make a great partner? How many teach the art of communication, conflict resolution, or emotional connection?

Here’s the truth: the skills that lead to a good marriage don’t magically appear on your wedding day. They’re built over time, often starting in adolescence.

Teen dating, for example, isn’t just a source of drama or distraction—it’s where kids learn the basics of emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and trust. When they navigate their first crush, experience heartbreak, or even stumble through awkward first dates, they’re developing the muscles they’ll one day need for a happy, lasting relationship.

But today’s teens aren’t getting that practice.

Teen dating is in freefall. In 1976, nearly 86% of high school seniors reported dating. Today, that number has plummeted to 56%. But it’s not just the quantity of relationships that’s changing—it’s the quality.

Ask a teen what dating looks like in 2025, and they’ll describe a world dominated by screens, shallow interactions, and fleeting connections. Traditional dates have been replaced with Snapchat streaks and “situationships.” Hookup culture has supplanted emotional intimacy.

Instead of practicing real relationship skills, teens are spending their critical developmental years swiping on apps, ghosting potential partners, and avoiding the vulnerability that comes with real connection.

The consequences are staggering.

Consider this: 45% of men ages 18–25 have never asked someone out on a date. Why? Fear of rejection. Nearly half of young men are entering adulthood without ever taking the emotional risk of expressing interest in someone. Without these experiences, they lack the confidence and social skills that are essential for building meaningful relationships.

And it’s not just boys. Social media has turned dating into a performance. Instead of focusing on the substance of relationships, teen girls are consumed by the optics—crafting the perfect Instagram post or curating their online persona. They’re playing a game of perception instead of learning how to communicate, build trust, or navigate conflict.

Is it any wonder that today’s young adults are lonelier than ever?

The decline of teen dating is part of a larger trend. Marriage rates are dropping, loneliness is skyrocketing, and young adults are struggling to form and maintain healthy relationships. In a study published by the American Psychological Association, nearly 60% of young adults reported feeling lonely, a statistic that’s doubled over the past decade.

Meanwhile, the marriage rate in the U.S. has hit an all-time low, and those who do get married are waiting longer than ever. The average age of first marriage is now 30 for men and 28 for women—up from 23 and 20 in 1960. But here’s the catch: while people are delaying marriage, they’re not necessarily preparing for it. Instead, they’re entering adulthood with less relationship experience and weaker social skills.

If parents want their kids to lead happy lives, they need to rethink their priorities. Academic and career readiness are important, but they’re not enough. Relationship readiness is just as critical—if not more so.

So, what’s the solution? How do we help teens build the skills they need for meaningful relationships?

First, we need to create opportunities for them to practice. That means encouraging them to date, take risks, and experience both the highs and lows of relationships. Vulnerability, after all, is a skill that only grows with use.

Second, we need to teach them the fundamentals of healthy relationships: how to communicate, how to resolve conflict, and how to build trust. These aren’t innate abilities—they’re learned behaviors.

Finally, we need to address the role of technology. Social media and dating apps have radically reshaped the way teens connect, often for the worse.

Instead of fostering genuine intimacy, these platforms encourage superficial interactions and a fear of rejection. Parents and educators need to help teens navigate the digital world without losing sight of what makes relationships meaningful.

Enter AskElle, an app designed to bridge the gap between modern dating culture and timeless relationship wisdom. With features like the Crush feature (which helps teens express interest without risking rejection) and the Ship feature (which emphasizes in-person connections), AskElle is giving teens the tools they need to build real relationships in a digital world.

Its AI chatbot, trained on expert insights, offers personalized, judgment-free advice that teens trust. For $10 a month, it’s a small investment in your child’s long-term happiness—far more effective than another SAT tutor or extracurricular activity.

Because at the end of the day, the research is clear: happiness isn’t about grades or accolades. It’s about relationships. And the teen years are where those skills are forged.

So let’s stop obsessing over test scores and start focusing on what really matters. Because the secret to a happy life isn’t a perfect résumé—it’s a good marriage. And it’s time we started acting like it.